The Love Coach test

$SUSAN QUILLIAM$

$LOVE COACH$

Test Yourself

Take this instant quiz to find out whether your relationship's on the right track or whether you need some help from Love Coach! Your answers will reach me anonymously and help me in my research.

1: How appreciated do you feel by your partner?

	very - he really values what you do
	enough, even though he never says it
	not enough - he does appreciate you, just never says it
	you really believe your partner doesn't appreciate you any more

2: How do you both handle money?

	differently - but you respect that in each other
	fine - one of you sorts it and the other goes along with that
	with difficulty - your differences really irritate you
	you have to have totally separate accounts otherwise you row all the time

3: When do you listen to each other?

	at the end of every day, more or less
	in bed at night, when you're cuddling
	when you have time, when the kids aren't around
	hardly ever

4: How often have you had crises - bereavement, job loss, serious illness, shortage of money - recently?

	not for several years
	recently, but it hasn't affected either of you
	recently, and it's been a real strain between you
	the last few years have been a constant crisis

5: What's your lovemaking like at the moment?

	still passionate, still experimenting
	comfortable, like an old shoe
	not as good and not as often as it used to be
	lovemaking - what's that again?

6: Who does the housework?

	both of you - though you each do what you're best at
	you do - but he helps out a lot
	you do - though you're pressuring him to do some more
	you do, and it's a constant cause of arguments!

7: When you disagree, do you...

	sort it out eventually, even if you do have to argue
	never disagree, ever
	never seem to come to a real conclusion
	fight painfully for weeks about it

8: When one of you gets emotional does the other...

	listen and try to understand
	try to solve the problem that's causing the upset
	find it hard to handle
	get very emotional in return

9: In terms of goals - like kids, career, life aims - you and your partner

	agree on most things
	agree on every single thing
	disagree but try to come to agreement
	disagree on almost everything

10: How often do you feel disappointed in your partner?

	very occasionally, and never seriously
	never - he's perfect
	at least once a week, sometimes more
	almost all the time

11: How often do you say yes... and no ... to your partner about things

	Yes 80%, No 20%
	Yes 100% No 0%
	Yes 40% No 60%
	Yes 5% No 95%

12: You both work...

	quite hard, and still have time for each other
	very hard, but still have time for each other
	very hard, and don't seem to make time for each other
	so hard you hardly ever see each other

13: If you fancied someone else, would you...

	enjoy the feeling, but not think of acting on it
	be appalled - you never fancy anyone else
	enjoy the feeling and think of acting on it
	act on the feeling

14: Alcohol makes you both...

	more sexual
	more irritable
	more likely to argue
	more likely to stay out all night

15: Jealousy is...

	something you occasionally feel but you've got it under control
	something you don't need to feel because you trust each other so much
	something you feel quite often
	an everyday problem in your life together

16: When it comes to the past...

	there've been bad times, but you've put them behind you
	there've been no bad times between you
	bad memories do still cause you problems
	you rake up the bad memories with every argument

17: If you thought your partner lusted after someone else, you'd...

	feel amused but not threatened
	be outraged - it would be the end of everything
	be unsurprised, and need to talk it through
	be unsurprised and have yet another row about it

18: If you wanted to do something different that was really important to you - like take a new job, or travel - your partner would...

	support you as far as he could
	support you but demand an equal sacrifice in return
	feel threatened and need to talk it through
	throw a wobbler or try to stop you in some other way

19: How would you describe the power balance in your relationship?

	pretty equal, though sometimes one of you feels overpowered
	always equal - you're a perfect team
	tricky - you often feel each other is trying to take control
	horrendous - you both feel really threatened

20: In terms of getting what you want out of life, your relationship...

	gives you most things
	gives you everything
	gives you a lot
	gives you almost nothing

test yourself